What's better than watching Golimar? Pinoy prisoners reenacting Golimar!

Check it out yourself:

Check out this video about a gay boy named Shannon who wished for a planet full of unicorns. And these are not just any ordinary unicorns, they are named Feathers, Cadillac and Tom Cruise! What's funny is that one of the unicorns sounds like Fez from That 70's Show, and Tom Cruise sounds, well, you know, GAY!



Enjoy!

I wish it was the '90s again. Full of entertaining music videos, Beavis and Butthead, Migraine Boy, VJ Nadia, VJ Donita, VJ Sonia, VJ Carlos Macapinlac (can't remember the name, Dijay Aditya?). I mean, what can you watch on MTV right now? Crappy music, that's what.

I mean, the only reason I watch MTV right now is to watch Pimp My Ride. How low can MTV go? Hmm... maybe if they put the lyrics of the songs below the screen...

Anyway, here are some music videos from the Foo Fighters that I have either never watched or just watched once.

Learn to Fly

This video includes Tenacious D members Jack Black and Kyle Gass as drug smugglers. I didn't even know they were here until I watched it recently.



Breakout

Ahh, one of my favorite FF songs! This was from the Me, Myself, and Irene soundtrack, so you get to see the lovely Traylor Howard (Two Guys, a Girl, and a Pizza Place), Anthony Anderson (from most of the Jet Li movies), Jarod Mixon (is he the guy from Old School?), and the black midget.



Monkey Wrench

Ok, so this isn't really the music video for Monkey Wrench, but this guy's really good.



There you go. I hope you enjoyed it.

This day, May 7th, Americans are celebrating an unusual, yet popular occasion. Today is National Masturbation Day!

This is a glorious day to appreciate the art of self-stimulation. Most guys do this, maybe once, twice, thrice (?) a day, so it's already a part of our routine/day.

So, if you have the urge to "jimmy your crank", "choke the chicken", "flog the dolphin", "play ping-pong with your organ", "clean your heavy equipment", "peel the wolverine", "strain the meat", "tease the snot out of Rotney", "pull the one-eyed monster", "cuff the ham", and others, always remember this day; the day where we can be proud to do this!

P.S. For other synonyms, check out this site.

***Disclaimer: Before you start reading this, let me remind you that most of the material coming from this post is based on my experience watching this movie; hence, it has lots of spoilers. It is under your discretion to look at it if you haven't seen the movie. If you feel that you need to see my opinion before you go watch it, then go for it. Otherwise, look at Mark's post below.

And here we go...................................

I just woke up, so at least my mind is clear now. But let me get this thing straight: Spider-man 3 is such a disappointment, you might as well spent your Labor Day watching another movie (Gray Matters, perhaps?).

Now, let's start nitpicking. Here's the stuff that I really HATE:

Opening Credits

If you're a follower of the Spider-man franchise, you'd easily notice how the editors had used old clips from Spider-man 1 and 2. Others would argue that it's merely retelling what happened on the previous movies, for the sake of new viewers; for me, it's just the editors having no CREATIVITY at all to come up with a Previously..." type of summary. Come on, the credits to Spider-man 2 was creative, using comic book sketches to portray what happened on Spider-man 1. All I can say is, WHAT A LAZY AND COMPLACENT BUNCH OF *SSES!!!

Storyline/Plotline

This one was actually very surprising for me, because this was the one I liked during the previous two movies. Peter had lots of interactions with the main antagonists, sometimes Osborn and Octavius are portrayed as icons/father figures of Peter. This made the fight scenes between them memorable, because there's one side (that's Peter for you) reluctant to engage another in battle, because of the deep respect Peter has for the other.

This time, it's different. It's like they put too many characters in this movie that there is no time for character development. It's like the writers just had to explain why these new characters are there, and how they are actually connected to Peter Parker. It's just a waste of talent for actors such as Topher Grace (Eddie Brock), Bryce Dallas Howard (Gwen Stacy), James Cromwell (Chief of Police Stacy), and yes, even the alien symbiote (although it is not actually an actor).

For example:

***SPOILER ALERT***

Gwen is introduced as Peter's cute lab partner, who he eventually upside down kisses her, making MJ ballistic and eventually led to Peter and MJ's breakup. Peter also used her to get back at MJ.

Eddie Brock is introduced here as the new upcoming photographer for the Daily Bugle. He took out Gwen once for coffee, already assuming that he is already dating her.

Gwen's dad was introduced when Gwen was attacked by a very intelligent crane that actually lacks the accuracy needed to kill Gwen. IF THERE WAS ANY CHANCE OF KILLING GWEN, THIS WAS IT!!!

We go to Peter and MJ doing some PDA over a web in a park. As they were kissing, a shooting star appeared containing the alien symbiote. YES, THIS IS HOW WE GET INTRODUCED TO THE ALIEN SYMBIOTE: WHILE PETER AND MJ ARE MAKING OUT!

***END OF SPOILERS***

You see how they were actually introduced? It's like they just popped out from nowhere.

Pacing

Because of the multitude of characters, there was little plot development. Which means less time in actually connecting one storyline to another. This was another major flaw in this movie, as it just flows from one big thing to another, without even providing a very meaningful background as to why it happened that way.

And that's not only my main gripe here. Even though there was less time in connecting these storylines, there are parts that were longer than I would expect. These parts made me fall asleep! True fact: there have been only three films in which I actually fell asleep, and I ended up being disappointed with all of them. #1: Constantine - the end part was very wordy. In other words, boring to the point of sleeping. #2: Da Vinci Code - enough said.

***SPOILER ALERT***

#3 Spider-man 3: The part where Spidey and Harry where fighting in midair, up until the part where Harry got clotheslined by Spidey's web. Maybe it's just me being sleepy, but I think that fight was boring compared to the other fight scenes Spidey had in the previous movies. Or maybe it's just because the scene was in the dark.

One other lengthy part would be the way Peter Parker changed once the symbiote got into him. The loser type, dancing part took too much time in the movie, that it could have just shown how incredibly strong and agile Spidey is, instead of showing how great of a pianist and dancer Peter Parker is.

***END OF SPOILERS***

Now, I don't hate everything about Spider-man 3. I loved the Venom costume. I loved Spidey's fight scenes with Venom, although I still felt that it was not long enough. I loved Topher Grace's portrayal of Eddie Brock, as I still see a little Eric Forman in him. His that sarcastic, insolent tone, the same tone you love on "That 70's show" was there, it even made you hope his dad came out of nowhere just to say "You jack*ss!" Bruce Campbell as the Maître d’ was exceptionally funny. Thomas Christian Haden's Sandman portrayal was exceptionally done, yet it comes out as shallow because his interaction with Spider-man was minimal. Only in the end did they actually talk to each other with any human emotion.

I think the main problem of the movie is that there was not enough time to weave all these interacting storylines together to fit in three hours. I mean , little things such as Peter actually discovering that sound affects the symbiote and can help remove it from him would have helped. I really cannot imagine someone such as Peter to just go to the bell tower and just as he's trying to remove the costume, hits the bell, which led to the belltolls, and eventually the symbiote moves away. Peter's a scientist; the least you can do is let him discover how to actually remove the symbiote.

Here is what I would have done if I were Sam Raimi: I would have just developed the Stacy family storyline and Eddie Brock's character in Spider-man 3. You know, Stacy flirting with Peter to MJ's disapproval, of course, and Eddie just doing anything sleazy just to get the upper hand in getting the photographer job over Peter. Continue with the black costume Spidey for the whole movie, and just fighting the Sandman over avenging his uncle's death. Spidey realizes how evil he's gonna become. So he finds a way to remove the symbiote, which is sonic waves, and then proceeds to the bell tower, where Eddie Brock was coincidentally there wishing for Peter Parker to die. Drop goes the symbiote, and we've got Venom. Then Spider-man 4 could be dedicated to Spider-man vs. Venom, which would have been very entertaining if they could actually recreate the fight scenes Spidey and Venom have in comic books.

They could have at least done what Quentin Tarantino did with the Kill Bill series. He actually thought the movie was too long for 3 hours, so he split it into two volumes. Alas, I have to assume this is the final chapter of the Spider-man series, as there is closure (ugly closure I might add) in the movie.

I hope comic book fans don't get too disappointed like I did. Because I believe that that's not the way to end a series, even a comic book series.

4.5 out of 10 stars

Ha! Now here's something you don't get to see everyday:

I was driving back home from Mandaluyong City, and seeing that the SLEX was experiencing heavy traffic, I decided to do the BF Shortcut. After an agonizing 10 minutes trying to follow Paranaque's 2nd District Congressional Candidate Atty. Romy Roxas' motorcade (you will lose, bastard!), I was finally at the Aguirre Avenue entrance. No problems here, as the guard was busy exchanging saliva, I mean words, with his friend "Scooter Boy", and I thought I was already scot-free.

Wrong! There was heavy traffic at the Toyota entrance of BF, and I thought how it can be this heavy when it's only 9 am on a Saturday. The thought quickly subsided when I found out that the guards were actually busy pulling down the bars, and they actually pulled them when I tried to pass, sending me to a complete stop.

Here's the transcript of our conversation:

Guard: Homeowner po ba kayo?
Me: Hindi.
Guard: Kasi kelangan nyo kasi ng sticker dito eh. (points to front window where the sticker should be placed)
Me: Para saan, eh pinapasok nga ako.
Guard: Saang gate kayo pumasok?
Me: Sa Aguirre gate.
Guard: Kasi nga kelangan nyo kasi ng sticker sa BF.
Me: Bakit? Hindi na naman kelangan ng sticker dito ah, kaya nga ako nakapasok eh, kaya nga lalabas na ako eh.
Guard: Kasi para sa Paranaque yun, eto naman para sa Las Pinas.

And here is where my mind goes, "WTF????? This was all the heavy traffic was about?"

Me: Ano po bang sticker ng Las Pinas ang kelangan ko?
Guard: (doesn't answer my question) Sa susunod nalang kumuha kayo ng sticker para di na kayo maharangan.

I just stopped and agreed, because I really don't want the other 50 cars behind me to wait for another 10 minutes for my tirade. Read that folks, 50 cars! These guards were not even thinking about the commotion they're doing. And it's on a fricking Saturday morning!!

Shit-pickle!

Good day to you JustStuffRedux readers!

First, introductions are needed. You shall call me Vice, nothing more, nothing less. Don't try messing up my name, or you'll feel the wrath of my finishing move, the ViceLikeGrip (VLG).

I have been friends with the bosses here, and they have been kind enough to let me write on this blog. I've been a fan of professional wrestling for 20 years, so I know most of the moves - of course that doesn't mean I can perform them. Currently, I've been playing the internet game RAN Online, which I've been religiously playing for 5 to 10 hours a day. Ahh, the wonders of not having to work!

Anyway, that's enough for me right now. Just remember you'll have to get used to me being here, and hopefully you'll like our collaboration.